California may vote again on marriage equality very soon -- possibly as soon as next year. In 2008, we lost by 300,000 votes; closing that gap is going to take a lot of work in very little time. But it can be done. And it starts with you.

Start a conversation today.

It's easy. It's natural. And it's the single most effective way to show people why voting Yes On Equality is the right thing to do.

Start with a question, and listen to the response.

• "Did you see that article about gay couples who want to get married? What do you think of that?"
• "Did I tell you about my cousin who's trying to get married?"
• "I noticed that bumper sticker about traditional marriage on your car -- can I ask why you have that?"
• " What are you planning to do when that equality measure comes to a vote?"
  

Continue the conversation.

Acknowledge what the other person says. Find common ground. Agree.
You don't have to start talking about equality right away -- just have a conversation. Ask more questions. Learn more about the person you're talking to.
Don't argue or accuse. Why would they listen to you if you're being belligerent? Instead of trying to prove them wrong, just listen and then tell them your side.

• "It sounds like traditions are really important to you. I know just how you feel -- I'm the same way."
• "So your pastor has strong feelings on this issue? Mine does, too. Where do you go to church?"
• "Yes, I agree it's complicated. We all just want to make the right choice."
• "I can tell you're concerned about your friend -- he's lucky to have people who want what's best for him."
  

Tell your story.

Tell people why you care about this topic. Explain how marriage equality personally affects you.
Be specific. Talk about real people, places, and situations.
Be brief at first. Take two or three minutes to tell your story, and then let the other person talk.

• "Just as it is for you, freedom of religion is very important to me. I want my pastor to have the freedom to recognize the gay couples in our congregation."
• " My sister was there for me when I got married, and I want to be there for her."
• "I don't want the government to stop my friends from having the happiest day of their lives."
• "When I was in the hospital, they wouldn't let my boyfriend visit."
• "How can I look my son in the face and tell him that he's not good enough to get married?"
  

Keep at it.

Changing minds takes time. Not every conversation will end with a complete change of heart. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree ... for now. Leave the door open for future conversations. The important thing is that you shared your point of view; and that you found the common ground that will allow you to keep the conversation going in the future.

• "There's going to be a sermon about this at my church next Sunday -- do you want to come?"
• "Remind me to show you the photos from my cousin's wedding next time I see you."
• "The election's still a few weeks away. How about we both keep thinking it over, and talk again next week?"
  

Know your facts.

An effective conversation starts with personal stories and shared feelings. You might not ever have to talk about facts and numbers. But in case someone asks or has misconceptions, it's important that you have correct information.

• Read the news on Stop8 -- or subscribe on Twitter.
• Get caught up on state-by-state activity, and learn more about the laws.
• Say "marriage equality" or "gay couples" instead of "gay marriage."
• Read MEUSA's fact sheet on marriage, money, and family.
• Read about the differences between civil unions and marriage.

Check out these examples.

• Watch our interviews with nine California couples.
  
• Watch TV spots from Equality California, Get to Know us First, and Thirteen Love Stories.
  
• We dare you not to cry at Courage Campaign's "Don't Divorce" video, which tells a story with just a series of photos.
• Watch Singaporeans talk about their gay friends and family.
  
• Read dozens of stories from the Human Rights Campaign.

Activate

1. First, activate your network of allies, information, and strategies. Subscribe to our RSS feed or email updates. Visit our Friends and Allies (in the sidebar) and subscribe to their updates, too. Check Twitter for keywords "Prop 8" and "noonprop8." Follow Stop8, NoOnProp8, EqualityNowSF, Gay Civil Rights, and Equality California. On Facebook, join No on 8, Repeal the CA Ban on Marriage Equality, NCLR, and Yes! on Equality. Subscribe on YouTube to NoOnProp8CA and Courage Campaign. Provide comments and ratings on videos to keep the conversation in the spotlight. Friend EqualityNowSF and VowToVoteNo on MySpace. Join Vote No On Prop 8 on LinkedIn. Join the Flickr groups Californians Against 8 and No On 8. Find an LGBT community center or PFLAG chapter near ou. If you're a geek, join the LGBT Online Platform. Consult the Marriage Equality Resources wiki. Read Why We Lost in California: An Analysis of "No on 8" Field Strategies; read Tying the Not; and read Harvey Milk's Ten Ways to Win an Election. Check out the Prop 8 Supreme Court filings on the court's website. If you're a business owner, join NCLR's group of business owners against Prop 8. Get an account with JoinTheImpact on Wetpaint. Equality California San Fernando Valley Equality Freedom to Marry Pam's House Blend Equality Action Now Million for Marriage QueerToday Equality Civil Rights Movement Join the Impact Against8 Blue4Equality Mormons for Marriage LDS 4 Gay Marriage Signing for Something Shame on LDS Gays and the Gospel Boycott Mormon Businesses Million Gay March LGBTQ Civil Rights Front And Marriage for All One Minute for Marriage Marriage Forward API Equality WiGayPedia White Knot Penninsula Marriage Equality Coalition ActivelyOUT Equality Network Marriage is So Gay Marriage Equality Silicon Valley Action for Equality Students for Equality United Against H8 Coachella Valley Marriage Equality Coalition Yes! on Equality Equal Rep National Equality Rally IGLYO Why Gay Marriage Love Exiles Immigration Equality Unite the Fight Equality Hub I'm a Homosexual You Know

Demonstrate

2. Next, demonstrate what you're fighting for, and why. Take the IDAHO challenge. Send Obama a postcard via Postcards to the President. Here are some more sites with information about events: Equality California Equality Action Now Queers United Million Gay March Jordan Rustin Coalition Overturn Prop 8 calendar No On Prop 8 Events GayChurch events Marriage Equality Wiki EqualityNetwork events Write a letter to your local newspaper, or submit comments to blogs. The NCLR has tips for letter-writing and blog posts here. Add your photo to the Courage Campaign's "Please don't divorce us" Flickr set. Put a blue light in your front porch, window, or storefront. Posters and fliers can be downloaded from MagikJar, Against8, Stop8, and Itch Publishing. Get inspiration from WiGayPedia. Volunteer with Marriage Equality USA. Make a No On 8 Button. Wear a white knot. Search for local businesses who supported Prop 8. Consult the Equality Boycott, or BustTheBlacklist.com or the HRC's list, or this one at the Mercury News, or this list of Mormon businesses or Mormons for Prop 8 or Equality Network. There are list of San Francisco businesses to avoid and Santa Rosa. And join GayWallet to support gay-friendly businesses. Read HRC's guide to speaking out. (It's a PDF, bleh.) Buy merch from Against 8 or Stop the H8 or Honk Against Hate or Stop the Mormons or Join the Impact or Marriage is So Gay or Why Gay Marriage or Fine By Me and wear it to a rally. Or to church. Sign the Anger into Action declaration. Build public support by writing a letter to the newspaper. Mormons are required to give money that they earn to the church, so if you find yourself in Utah, don't give Mormons your money.

Affiliate

3. Then affiliate with new allies to swell your numbers, win new supporters, and make inroads into new communities. Like Jon Stewart, have one of your ten conversations. Participate in Tell-Three. The California Council of Churches has a bunch of fantastic resources for promoting marriage equality in communities of faith. Soulforce, GayChurch.org, Dignity USA, Jews for Marriage Equality, California Faith for Equalityand Reconciling Ministries Network promote equality in religious communities. Check out GayChurch's events. API Equality and API Equality LA reach out to Asian and Pacific Islander communities -- check their site for ways you can help in SFand in LA. AQUA does outreach to Asians and Pacific Islanders in DC; and GAPSN operates in LA. Bienestar is an LA organization that serves the Latino community. The Jordan Rustin Foundation reaches out to the black community in LA; in DC, there's the National Black Justice Foundation; in San Francisco, there's And Marriage for All. United Lesbians of African Heritage is exactly that. MissionGathering is an inclusive church in San Diego. New Ways Ministry is a gay-positive ministry with programs all over the world. Atticus Circle reaches out to straight allies. Read Harvey Milk's Ten Ways to Win an Election. Check out the "Start a Conversation" clips from Unlearning Homophobia. Straight From the Heart appeals to religious communities; All God's Children addresses African-Americans; and De Colores focusses on Latino families. Start a Fine By Me project in your community. Stop The Hate focusses on college campuses, and Think B4 You Speak targets young people in general. Join Marriage Equality Now in writing to churches. Talk to your family and friends.

Legislate

4. Finally, legislate protection for freedom and equality. Let your legislator know that marriage quality matters. Sign Equality California's Equality California's petition and the Courage Campaign's and Equality Washington's. Then tell everyone you know to sign them, too. Participate in Join the Impact's legislative goals. Tell Congress to pass the Uniting American Families Act. Support People for the American Way's campaign to repeal DOMA; and tell your friends. Follow Davina Kotulski's guide for lobbying Obama. CA: Write a letter of thanks to San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera, who filed a lawsuit challenging Prop 8. CA: Write to the Governor to demand that he protect our freedom to marry. NJ: Join Garden State Equality, and join the fight for marriage equality in New Jersey. UT: Support Equality Utah by urge Utah lawmakers to support civil union legislation. Check this list of states that may equalize marriage in 2009.

What Not To Do

Think twice before you start a new project, website, organization, or campaign. Lots of people have great ideas and start new projects all the time, but most of them lose steam within a few months. Rather than starting something new on your own, we strongly recommend that you join up with an existing organization. Here at Stop8.org, we've seen a lot of organizations working at cross-purposes, needlessly duplicating each others' work, or simply giving up and disappearing. If you have a new idea, that's great -- by all means, pursue it. But before you do, check around to make sure nobody else is already working on the same thing. Below is a list of sites and organizations that we've been tracking that appear to no longer be active, or that repeat each others' work. WiGayPedia Californians Ready to Repeal Prop 8 1,000,000 Strong to Repeal Prop 8 No Milk for Cinemark vote no on Prop 8, Legalize Gay Marriage Serious Outreach, In the Parade, Geeks for Equality, and Gay Pride. NoOnProp8dotcom, API Equality, and LoveHonorCherish WiGayPedia OverTurnProp8. Join the Impact and JoinTheImpact - Pam's House Blend. Creating Change 2009 conference. In the Parade. Keep Fighting Prop 8 8 Accountability Project national protest widget Gay Rights, support gay marriage, legalize gay marriage Support Gay Rights California Against the Gay Marriage Ban, Straight People Against Gay Marriage, Gay Marriage!!! Overturn 8: Online Rally, Join the Impact National Events, Join the Impact Local Events, NoOnProp8, Protest 8 in SF, Californians for Fairness, OverTurnProp8, Protest Prop 8, LA Prop 8 Protes, California Outreach, Keep Fighting Prop 8, The Smoking Cocktail, Redondo Beach protest, Why Gay Marriage, JoinTheImpact, send Obama postcards, flyer neighborhoods, Send a press release, protest in Sacramento, Day Without a Gay, You Can't Hide Your Hate, Protest8SF, Shame On LDS, NoMoreH8, No On Prop 8 Store Orange County Protests, Californians for Fairness Overturn Prop 8, Seeking Forgiveness, Eliminate Proposition 8, Honk Against H8, Stop the Mormons, California Outreach, Pursuit of Equality, Defending Love, Fine By Me, AntiGay Blacklist,

Also, please be nonviolent when you protest. Go ahead and lead boycotts, challenge tax exemptions, and protest outside of businesses and churches. But never cause physical harm, and never lose sight of what we're about: live and let live, not destroying our enemies.